41

So. I am 41. And I am not any better off than I was when I turned 40.  Actually at 40 I had money in the bank.  Right now I have about $40 and my next check is in peril of not happening.

I had started hanging out with the attorney again.  And he says he is taking 3 weeks off of work this month but does not see me before I leave town for the British West Indies.  I send him a pic from the app we used when he traveled outside the country.  Air.  I do go back and forth a bit with him via text as I travel home.

Before I left I had invited him to my bday shindig.  10 people total taking a tour of a porn studio.  Fun, right?  He says he will be there!

Only he no shows.  I knew by mid day that he was going to forget.  And I just didn’t want to have to remind him.  I started drinking at 5 and by 7:40 I text him: So I guess you’re not coming.  Wish I’d known so I could have invited another date.

Him:  What?

Me:  Wow.  Really?  [Sidebar:  Am I actually supposed to say you missed my motherfucking birthday?  The invite you responded to?  The one that said I had purchased tickets and wanted no gifts?  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?]

Next morning:

Him: I don’t know what u r talking about love.

So I send a screenshot of my fb page thanking everyone for the bday wishes.

And since?  AIR.

Unfuckingbelievable.  I was not actually pissed until I started writing it down.  Are ALL men this flakey?  Because the ones in my life are.  The Rapper (fucking train wreck), the Cop (working too much, too young), and the Attorney who has made it so clear I am a plaything.

I am taking a break from it all.

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