Stonewalled

I am soooo behind on my gratitude!

1) Quiet days spent cleaning house

2) Old boyfriends (Bacon) texting me that he needs to make decisions. I assume he either wants out of his relationship or to propose.  He texts, I call, we chat, I send dirty pics cuz WTH not?

3) Hot little chats with the attorney.  He calls to read me an email from a defense attorney referring him some work.  The comments are hilarious and I see more and more how much he needs affirmation.

4) Those workouts. Holy hell.

**

Mostly this week has been frustrating.  The attorney is out of town.  And VYC is playing games.  We were supposed to get together Monday, then Tuesday, but he will not commit and I am annoyed.

Me on the way to a date he knows about: 🙂  I’d rather be with you.  Even if I’m convinced you just want to bang

Him: Find out….

Me:  Honestly?   I have a thing for cocky assholes.  I’ve been trying to break the habit.  And I’m terrified I might fall for you.   And ruin things that could be really good for me long term.  The fact that my shoulder still hurts and reminds me I’m curious about fucking you is not helping.

Me:  And air .. .I just got a little to real for you huh?

Him: Not at all. Just cleaning my house…

Him: Ur pretty hot…

Me:  Mmmmhmmm.  Pretty much sums it up on your side.

Him:  Listen, you do what you wana do!  I genuinely like hanging out with you. Your fun, I’m not gonna force you to do anything

Me:  I’m aware of that.   It’s cool.  I know how to keep my emotional distance.  And its very clear i need to.  Very curious about the physical aspect.  Not sure how much I can explore of that.   But I will enjoy it for the time being.

We are supposed to meet up after my date but he is “tired”.  Then, as always, I get “What are you doing tomorrow?”  And I tell him.  I am working late.

I ask the next day if we are still on for that night and he now wants to meet before I go to work, which I can’t.  He makes no mention of the evening, so I go to work, then to run errands.

I had told him I would be done at 7.  At 7:40 he pings me “Got busy, huh?”  I tell him he would not confirm so I went about my business.

He then apparently falls asleep.  And I hear from him at 11:15, which I ignore.

I am annoyed.  Yet, I want him so badly.  He is going to have to really ASK to see me.  Specifically.  Date, time, place.  Otherwise, I am out.

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