Oh, how things change. A month ago I was out every night with a different guy. This week I am out with none.
Tattoo Attorney and I went back and forth a bit today. He is leaving for SD tomorrow. I told him to go to my fave restaurant for me. He told me I should come with him sometime. Of course I said “Hell yes!”. “Can’t wait” he replies.
“Let’s work on a local drink when you have time” is my response.
“U R cute as hell” he says back.
I gave him first dibs on my Thursday as I will have fresh hair but he will not be back til Friday.
I tried, and got, an invite to see Solar guy this weekend but the timing does not work, so I backed off. We will see if he pushes to see me.
Last night. Was interesting. We walk in and some 21 year old gloms onto me. I mean he goes in for a kiss and he is so slow he ends up kissing the back of my head.
Then some guy walks by and he looks familiar and he gives me a pointed look. Tinder pops up and it is him – “are you out?”
He comes in with a friend. It is loud. And it is weird to meet someone that I have seen but not chatted with on m@atch and T!nder. I have no reference. Just a quick look at the app which I cannot and will not really read in the bar.
It is AWKWARD. He is cute. And short. Very athletic.
But I have no idea what to say. I mean I do not know him. I have not chosen to go out with him. I can be friendly but I am trying to go to SF to make out with the Aussie.
I felt bad when I was done and sent a quick “Sorry, I had other plans to get to”.
Then I found him m@tch profile today. HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT!!! Boy has a LAUNDRY LIST. I send this to my client that I was out with: “Now I know why we did not chat online. Holy picky asshole, batman. Low fat ice cream? I hate him already!!”
She’s a great conversationalist but not gabby, energetic but not hyper-active, comfortable around other people (but not a social-butterfly unable to sit still). She’s sexy and mildly kinky (playful) but not slutty, comfortable with her body, comfortable with my body, and comfortable with our bodies in the same proximity. She’s a risk-taker who learns from her mistakes, lives by the golden rule, and gives as well as she receives.
So, in other words, PERFECT. Not too hot, not too cold. Not too hard, not too soft. FUCKING GOLDILOCKS!!!
My match is: fit, healthy, smoke-free, smart, witty, wise, humorous, experienced, talented, happy, loving, caring, trustworthy, generous, kind, appreciative, gracious, financially secure, goal-oriented, fun-learned, well-rounded (and I don’t mean her “body type”), emotionally stable, educated and motivated. I know, LISTING WORDS can be so boring and sound stiff, right?…
For the record, I would not consider myself fit, kind, and I AM well-rounded you fucking douchbag. I just hate these laundry lists of attributes that men require in a woman. SHUT THE FUCK UP and make yourself worthy you short, underemployed munchkin.
End rant. Sorry. I still do not feel good and his profile sets me off.