A thing

The text convos continue with the Shop Owner.  Things can get a little serious, but I love that he takes it all in stride and participates.  The other night I went on a rant about people and he asked to call me since it was something to talk about.  It turned into a talk about what we want.

Him:  Companionship is really important to me. I enjoy having a women in my life. The right one anyway. I can be single and happy but it’s not preferred. I really desire affection. I have broken up with several women because they are cold. How about you?

Me: [Being a little careful] I want to find my equal (or hell, someone better than me).  I am tired of dating randoms.  I want someone who is sticking around.  Who is on the same page.  I want to build something and not start over in 6 months

And later I said:  Shit.  without bragging, I can have quite a few men who would take me with every fault and never ask me to change or be a better version of me….but that is not what I want.   I want to find that person that makes me want to be better/more/pushes me/challenges me.

Both of us are tired of dating but not willing to settle.  So, I think we are on the same page.

He sent me this article.  And it summed up what I have been thinking about dating.  I am sometimes trying to “Fuck yes” something when everything in me is saying “Meh”

So now we have a saying – he sent me the article and my response was “Fuck yes”.  And it remains “Fuck yes”.

I dreamt I slept through Thursday (our next date) and woke at 6:47 thinking it was morning but it was night.  I was with Friend Turned.  Who was stroking my breasts while I was worried about my breath (sexy time dreams due to ovulating).  It took awhile in the dream to realize I had not gotten a text from Shop Owner that he had arrived home from his trip.  And I started to get concerned when I woke up.  To a real text from him of “Morning”.

I am not sure what that means.  I think my brain is telling me to check my expectations.  And they are checked.  But I am excited.  I am excited to see him, hear him, look him in the eye, sit near him, touch him.  I am excited to interact and take in all the nuances.

I try not to worry.  This, so far, has been pretty amazing.  And I still have a bomb to drop.  And based on questions on eH@rmony I have an inkling it will not go over well.

But I will continue to hope that I am, that this is, amazing enough to overcome it all.  If nothing else he shows me I do not have to settle.  And for that I can already love him.


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