I went to my therapist today. The Man and I were supposed to go together, but he decided he would head out of town early instead. Um, yeah. I was beyond pissed, but I think it really shows that all of his talk about change and growth is bull shit.
I am really tired from an emotional week, so I will go this quickly to remind myself later.
I told her that he had moved here until he found a place, the dog ruining the screens and the fence and that my pets were locked in a room, and with all that he kept telling me I was not doing enough.
She said that was manipulative, which is a word I have used a few times in the last weeks. She said I was living with a lot of change and taking on a lot and when he wouldn’t listen, I just hit the wall.
We talked about my father and how I am not the daughter he wanted. He wanted meek and mild and sweet. And I am brash and talk like a sailor.
She asked me what will I do if my parents never give me what I want from them. I have to find it elsewhere. I need to grow up and away from them (emotionally).
She told me I need to learn Non Violent Communication (which is not to say I am violent, just unable to speak a want or need very well).
She said I need to find a man than makes me uncomfortable. If I am comfortable, I am repeating everything I shouldn’t (people with alcohol issues, people who suck me dry).
And I need to listen to this.
And “I am no longer having my needs met in this relationship” needs to be my mantra.